Friday, September 2, 2011

Patience is the Virtue which I Lack

I feel lost with no direction. I don't know exactly how to explain it but I can say that I don't remember feeling like this ever before until I graduated. I feel alone and worthless, like the world would move forward without me. I want to feel loved, but I'm not sure where to find that. Sometimes I feel like I have over stayed my welcome here at Purdue. I love the ministry but I am at a dead end. I feel like the dating well has dried up for me.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have listened to others and gotten out of that relationship earlier. It wasn't doing me any good to fight for it, and now I have passed any point of normality in my relationships. I want to scream, but at the same time just sit in the corner and cry. I WANT someone to love who will love me back. But I know I can't dwell in that. It is not my will but His that must be followed, and I am getting too "old" to find that love here in my current situation.

Lord, lift this burden from my shoulders. Help me to find comfort and to feel loved. Help me to know that am not alone and show me how to find what I am missing. Give me strength Lord and help me to find the purpose in vocations that you are calling me to. Help me to find the Patience to wait for what you have planned for me, for it seems so fat away...

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