Struggles in Vocation

So this seems to be the general theme of my blog recently. I don't know what it is but it seems to be the only thing on my mind as of late. Some may say this is a good thing, and it is, I am actually discerning a vocation instead of saying well most people get married so I will too. But I am constantly thinking about it, and I feel like I have hit a rut and I can't climb out of it. I have hit a point where I am focused on one vocation...honestly the hardest one to attain at the moment, I don't know if I am not being fair to the other two, but I hold on to a want that I sometimes feel is a need, a need for companionship. The struggle though is finding that companionship.

I will move on from that point for the moment. Another thing I am struggling with now is something a buddy of mine brought up and threw in my face last night...(and I am actually really glad he did so). I have a huge problem with keeping in touch with friends of mine who are not in my general vicinity, even with some of my closest friends. I need to really work harder on this...or I am going to lose a lot of friends...some I fear I already have.

The last point I will make tonight is about my job. I LOVE my job and the opportunities it affords me. The problem is, do I see myself here in three years...can I continue to support myself on this job in the future? Will I just move into teaching when I have become obsolete at St. Tom's, or should I take on Grad School and work on a Campus Ministry Masters Degree (thus effectively ending my teaching career before it starts).

I really need to actually work on getting a Spiritual Director...instead of just saying it would be a good idea. It would be a great idea for the situation I am in and the pressures I am putting on myself. I need help and someone to talk through all of this with. Lord give me strength to find you in all of this, help me to have the patience to wait for your will to be done in me. I may not wish to wait on your will but you provide me with friends to remind me that you will provide in your time not mine. THANK YOU! AMEN.