The Single Life for Me?...

I have tried to stay open to discernment but I don't know if I can do it anymore. Or maybe I am doing it wrong? Either way this doesn't seem healthy and I haven't found what I am looking for.

Discernment has become more burden than anything helpful. I want a family, I want children, I want to share my life with someone in a way that I can be open with them and share my deepest fears and agonies in a way that I have never been able to growing up or in any relationship I have ever had, I have always closed myself off. Every time I think about it, it makes me sick to my stomach, I fall into depression and I find myself trying to fill the hole inside.

I don't know how to fix it, I've tried praying about it, spending time with it in Adoration. I ask God everyday to show me some sort of direction, nothing. I enjoy my work and what I do; it keeps me busy. When I get home at the end of the day it is the only thing I think about. I can't get away from it. It is everywhere, couples dating on screen, seeing couples out in the world, beautiful Catholic women surround me in almost everything I do.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I have tried everything. I've exhausted discerning single life, I have joined Catholic Dating websites, I've tried cutting myself off from the world. Nothing works, nothing can get this out of my head. I just want to find answers, I need a source of hope. I feel so alone.