Burnout

I think I have finally reached burnout.

I am working roughly 60 hour weeks, I haven't had a day off in over a year. I am called into work on the weekend...on a regular basis. I complete most of my tasks with 5 minutes to spare because I wait on others who don't turn in their portions of a project until the last possible second. My list of projects grows faster than I can cross items off the list...

When people ask how I am doing, I am quick to answer, "Fine" or "I'm doing ok". I'm not i'm burned out. I enjoy the fast pace of my job and the ability to do something different every day, but it is taxing. Can I keep up with this mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually?

I have lost hope spiritually. I used to be so happy, I was excited to take on new challenges. Now, I don't know my purpose. I was into the whole discernment idea, "you just have to give it time", but I want to live my life. I have made almost no progress...and when I think I am making progress, it blows up in my face.

I wonder if I have found my "security blanket" in this job and that I am afraid to grow up. I thought this was a blessing; a job in a horrible economy, serving my church and giving me time to reflect on life. Well, I'm not so sure any more; and I really don't know what to do.

Let Me Out - Future Leaders of the World

Lost in the Darkness, No Shoulder to Cry On

I am really starting to wonder about this online dating stuff. I had been talking to this girl online for about a month and a half. Everything was going smoothly and so I asked her if she would like to meet up for dinner. I felt like this was a logical step and that I wasn't rushing anything too quickly. I was met with this:

"Perhaps, just as friends. When I signed up on CM, I was really hurt from my last relationship and I don't know what exactly I was looking for. Now that I've had some more time to myself, I've realized that time is exactly what I need. I want to be by myself for a while, and fill my life with better people. If you're okay with that, then sure!"

Now correct me if I am wrong but I thought the whole point of being on a dating website was that you were interested in dating. Apparently I am severely mistaken.

I am at a loss for words right now. I have no idea what God wants of me. I've tried being patient I want to give it all to Him but I can't do this much longer. It hurts. I don't feel like I have the shoulder to lean on that I used to have. I have acquaintances at Purdue and St. Tom's, but not really anyone I feel I can bare my soul to.I don't have a best friend anymore...they have all "grown up" gotten married, traveled the world, or joined religious orders. I feel like I have allowed myself to be left behind.

I know the work I am doing is fruitful. I know that I put in a hard days work and others see the good that I do. But I don't know if I get anything out of it. I don't have time for myself, and if I do it is tucked into the 3-4 hour window between getting home from work and going to sleep.

I need a vacation. I want a girlfriend. I need a community that understands me. I want a shoulder to lean on. I need a light in the darkness. I want my faith and prayer life back.