It always seems that when I am the farthest down in the dumps God answers with hope and purpose. It has been a long few weeks, not necessarily stressful...but trying...emotionally, sometimes physically, and spiritually. Discernment is not easy, i'm not sure it is meant to be. Matching our wants and needs with what God wants for us is hard to do, it should be easy but it's hard to let go.
Strangely the steps to Newman Hall have become a place of comfort. I remember sitting here as a Super-senior ready to graduate, to go out into the world...wondering where/how I would find a community like this. I now find myself, on occasion, drifting back to these very same steps...just to sit down and reflect on how far i've come since that night...and te ways in which I have not left these steps. They are a blessing; a "concrete" (excuse the pun) representation of where God calls me.
I don't know where i'm going, or exactly what i'm supposed to be doing. I'm scared, and searching for the next level of community...one that I can go deeper with. I need a community where I can make it about me everyonce in a while and not feel like a selfish jerk...I need to open up and let it loose. I need to find steps that allow me to look out onto the world, and not just reflect on the past.
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