Mind the Gap

I miss having friends around that would hound me to get me to open up about what was bugging me. I have a lot of acquaintances that will question how I'm doing that day...but at the moment...none that see through a simple "doing good". Once the shell is cracked...I can talk more, but I don't talk about my feelings to people as much as I should. Instead I bottle them up until I explode on a post like this...and then end up being a bunch of garble that doesn't really say much about me or what I am going through. Or they turn out to be a rant that I am sure people have gotten sick of reading...if people actually read these. I know what I want...and I know where I am right now. I just don't know how to get where I want to be. It is that empty space between the two that causes me the pain, and gets me questioning what I really want in life. One day I will figure this all out...or I will spend my life alone, whether that is my call or not. I wish I had the answers. I wish I had someone to talk to about this that would understand and could talk me through it.