We are Called...

We are called by God to fulfill the purpose he has set forth for us. Sometimes it is easier to understand God's call for us... this weekend I answered a call from God. I went to a Frassati Conference in the Lafayette Diocese. This time around God's call was blunt. During the Spring Semester 2011 I went on a retreat called Boiler Awakening...while there I received an affirmation (a phrase that the retreat staff came up with that described my faith and how I live it). My affirmation..."Live out Loud"...the name of the Frassati Conference..."Live out Loud"!!

The main focus of the conference was to present to us Young Adult Catholics ways in which we can live our faith out loud in a world that calls us to conform and accept new ideas that go against our faith just because they are becoming a new norm or a new idea.

This weekend challenged me on multiple levels. How can I live out my faith, should I be blatantly Catholic...am I already? Does this mean something different for someone who works for a Catholic Church...I should already be living Catholic. What can I do to truly live the word's of St. Francis of Assisi, "Preach the Gospel at all times, use words when necessary." What can I do to live out my faith intentionally not only to live as an example to others but to strengthen my faith life as well?

The reoccurring theme for me though, continues to be discernment. I am no closer to figuring out what God is calling me to as a vocation, but I did pick up a few tools on how to discern a call and a deeper understanding of the vocation of Single life. I know what I want and what I feel would make me most happy. But, does this match up with what He wants for me and what He is calling me to do.

Single life would allow me to use my gifts to serve without needing to be able to provide for others...I could offer myself 100% to my ministry and not worry about devoting my time elsewhere. However, this leaves me feeling empty with a longing for another to love and live for. The Married life would allow me to serve with both my talents and as a husband drawing a woman closer to Christ as she draws me closer to Him. The Priesthood or religious live would allow me to fill that void in a different way, with Him and with community. I feel that this may hinder me slightly in using my talents to their fullest extent...not many priests run a website...create the bulletin...or do the maintenance work around the church. I feel that these are the tools I have been given to serve Him and I have a desire to serve Him with my talents even though I could possibly make more money elsewhere. This is my dilemma, a strong pull toward the married life...and the struggle to discern whether or not what I want is what He wants.

It's kinda a Funny Story

I just finished the movie "It's kinda a Funny Story". It made me realize how lucky I am. I am often asked why I always seem so happy.
I realize that not everything always goes my way, and I wish some things happened differently. But I am overall happy with my life, and that is why I always seem so happy. I try to stay positive and that exudes because of it...

Home

Vacation is a restful time that is spent away from one's normal schedule and meant to allow one to reflect on life and what they are missing while focused on their daily routine. I had the chance to take a much needed vacation last week. I spent the majority of the week up at Wood Lake Scout Reservation. I miss it so much. I worked on the waterfront from '03-'07. In some ways it felt as if I had never left. Granted much of the staff is different, but a few of the old staff remains, the guys who were there when I was on staff. I say that in many ways it is still the same because, the same spirit, though embodied in a new staff, still lives alive and well "nestled in the trees".

It felt good too that every few hours I would run into someone else that I had met in the past who: "had me as a swimming mb counselor", "remembered me from Webelos resident camp", or that felt better knowing that I was once again patroling the waterfront at Camp Tamarack.

I miss that place so much, it has become a home for me. I grew up among the trees of Wood Lake Scout Reservation, and I credit it with making me the man I am today. I love it because of the great spirit that lives in the staff, and the peace that falls in those woods. It gave me a chance to reflect on my life. What have I done and accomplished? I found at camp this last week that I have made an imprint on WLSR and the people who come there. I have developed into somewhat of a legend there, not trying to get a big head, but I have made a difference there. I only hope and pray that the same holds true wherever I have worked.

The Vacation has made me think about my current situation. Am I happy where I am, I mean am I truly happy? I wonder if I sometimes trick myself a little. I enjoy my job, and the work I am able to do there. But some things are lacking. I am not able to do some of the things that a teaching position would allow me to do; travel, money to donate and to enjoy, time away from work. And I still continue to come back to one point that I struggle with week after week. I struggle with my vocation, I feel drawn to the married life but I still can't find a girl whom I feel I can date without it being weird or inappropriate. My Vacation has helped me to think more openly about my vocation and where it might be leading me, career wise...